Welcome Thomas Beau!

Thank you all so very much for your kind words, well wishes, and congratulations on the arrival of our newest love. We feel very blessed to have our darling Thomas earthside. He is the perfect addition to our family. Ahhhh our family of five!

It’s hard to believe I never sat down and shared my thoughts, feelings, or updates on my third pregnancy. I guess it makes sense seeing as life gets crazier with more + more kids, ha.

ANYWAY.

Our sweet Thomas Beau arrived and we couldn’t be more thrilled to have this incredible being join our family. Andddd he joined us in the midst of the weirdest time; the most uncertain time. A global pandemic. I’m looking forward to telling him all about it one day—how his siblings and I didn’t really leave our property for over two months + how it not only brought our family closer together in our shoebox home, but it pushed me out of my pregnancy/labour + delivery comfort zone.

Thomas Beau was born at home. He was my only natural birth. It was easily the most magical moment of my life. It was hands down the most intense experience and it shook me to my core.

It was not originally what was planned. We had planned to deliver at the hospital with our midwife—-but I count my blessings that we had this incredible life experience. I can honestly + truthfully say, it has shaped me as a mother; as a woman.

When we found out we were expecting T, I knew I wanted to go with a midwife for this pregnancy. I wanted the experience of more personal and postpartum care. Don’t get me wrong, I loved our OB who took care of me and my two older children but I was craving having the same person who took care of us throughout the pregnancy to also be present for the birth. I wanted care that better aligned to our flow and our vibe—and I found that in my midwives. Such a beautiful practice + I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss them already.

Due to this wild pandemic, appointments were spaced out a lot more + my visits consisted of masks, taped lines, sanitizer, and shorter visit times. Considering all of the external noise, I always felt very heard and cared for by my midwives. They were so lovely, so helpful. The clinic although having changed into a more “clinical” vibe due to Covid-19, was still warmer and brighter than what I could imagine a hospital feeling like.

At my 38+4 week appointment, Thomas was measuring 40 weeks and his heartbeat was strong, mature, and sounded like a Clydesdale. I had a feeling he’d be a big baby like his brother—not going to lie, I was nervous. If you’ve been following me for awhile, you may remember that George was 9lbs + his birth was…a lot. Looking back now, it was very traumatic and although I wouldn’t change a thing because it gave me my George Bear, it really set me up for a slight fear of big babies, ha.

Third pregnancies are no joke—especially when you’re home raising up two little ones. I didn’t sit often, I gained the most insane varicose + spider veins, and was uncomfortable a lot. Grateful but uncomfortable. It was obvious my body had done this before but it was wild to me how much more uncomfy I was this go around—less rest had something to do with it, for sure.

SO.

At one of my last midwife appointments, I was still considering a hospital birth WITH an epidural. I had never had a natural birth before + I’ve been known to have said “I don’t need to be a hero” to other mamas—because that’s the thing, I never considered that I would or could have a baby naturally and not dissipate into thin air at the same time. Ha, I know. But it scared me. I was very much in fear of the pain—what I saw in media and movies, in stories I’ve heard, in comments and lack of understanding by others. I was fearful I wouldn’t be able to do it.

After a very honest chat with my midwife that consisted of my sharing that I was mostly overwhelmed about bringing a baby into the uncertain and rather un-chill vibe of a hospital, she reassured me that should I decide to do a home birth, I’d be the perfect candidate to do it. Third babies just fall out, right!? Ha.

On Tuesday April 28th, I spent the day in my Jammies, having nice chats on the phone with family and friends, rented + watched Trolls World Tour multiple times, and relaxed. It was the first day that I felt like I was pretty much prepared to have a baby at home. Curating a home birth kit was very difficult not being able to physically go to stores and ordering on Amazon with the hope it would all arrive on time! Up until this day, I felt like I was scrambling to get all the things + read all the positive birth stories and to get my mindset right. I was nervous and excited and the anticipation of birth was driving me crazy.

This was the first day I felt very calm + relaxed. I was still very much anxious about when it would be baby time but I did feel very chill. I was experiencing some Braxton Hicks throughout the day—or so I thought. I was only 39 weeks and 3 days + both my other babies came after 40 weeks so I didn’t even have the thought that T would arrive before Saturday. So, yes, I thought I was having Braxton Hicks.

I decided that once Aaron came home, I should have a proper chat with my bestie, Neen, to give her the low down on what our plans were for when we go into labour + with the kids. The plan was she’d come over and play with them—keep them distracted and happy! I sat in my bedroom on my beloved heating pad + we chatted for a good hour and a bit. I was experiencing more intense “Braxton Hicks” and jokingly made a few comments that “I don’t think I’m going into labour tonight but these Braxton Hicks are annoying” HAHAHA this was my third baby + I still was unsure if I was in labour. Oh goodness.

After our phone chat, George went to bed with Aaron + I lay in bed with Eloise to get her sleeping. I was having a hard time laying flat on my back and cuddling her. I had to get up a few times to stand + lean against my bed! I decided now would be a good time to download a contraction app + start timing—just incase. And yes, I was also googling “what are the differences between Braxton Hicks and real labour”.

Once she was asleep, I figured I would continue to time my contractions, grab out the home birth kit stuff just incase (please note, still in denial as I couldn’t comprehend having a baby before 40 weeks!). I cleaned up the hot wheels off the floor, organized the laundry, lit a candle, did some work, all the while stopping + breathing through more and more intense contractions. This all started around 8/8:30pm. I putzed around my house, drew a bath + decided I might as well relax—it was nice.

The more and more I timed, the closer and closer these “Braxton Hicks” were getting. When I really couldn’t breathe through one, I realized, oh my gosh, I’m actually in labour. So I sent my bestie a text message to let her know I was going to call my midwife + keep her posted. I woke Aaron up—who was also in denial UNTIL I STARTED TO CRY.

I had a moment of panic and then called my midwife (it was 12:30am on the 29th at this point!), I laboured on the phone with her as she timed my contractions and said she’d be over right away. I sent Christine (Neen as my children so fondly call her!) a text to let her know that my midwife was enroute and that I’d keep her updated. The kids were still soundly sleeping, so until I knew exactly what was going on—I wasn’t going to have her make the trek over.

My midwife arrived at 12:50am. She came in with a smile + gentle disposition. Aaron has moved George to the big bed with Ellie + had helped me transform the kids room into a birthing room. We made the bed + brought all the blankets, towels, and supplies into the room. Once my midwife was set up, she checked me. Y’all. I was EIGHT CENTIMETRES DILATED!! I had laboured from 8:30pm-12:30am by myself in the comfort of my own home while googling if I was actually in labour—my contractions were painful but manageable. Hence, my confusion, ha.

I was in shock! She told me right then that as soon as my water broke, I’d have our baby in 15 minutes! This is when I started to maniacally laugh! This was it! We were having our baby! At home! I could feel myself get really excited to get this baby party started—in conjunction with my contractions becoming REALLY REALLY INTENSE. I used Aaron’s body to support me while I laboured. My water did not break and we waited for our second midwife to arrive.

Our second midwife arrived around 1:20am-ish—to be honest, I’m not entirely sure of the time because it felt like time stood still. Once she arrived and got set up, they broke my water. I was worried that it would hurt, but I was in the throes of the transition phase of labour so it was fine. Once my water broke, the labour pains came even more fast + more furious and I ended up laying on the bed but on my side—such a random position to give birth but it was the most comfortable for me.

And with every wave of contraction, my body did it’s thing! I had a moment of complete panic which my midwife so gracefully talked me through it, my husband was incredibly stable + strong, and I knew that we were close to meeting our son. I dialed in and pushed for maybe, three contractions, and then at 1:53am, our darling Thomas arrived.

Thomas was 9lbs 2oz—our biggest baby yet. I had no tearing, no stitches needed, NOTHING. I was surprised and thrilled and I can absolutely attribute this to my midwife helping me through the pushes + coaching me through the “ring of fire” to really ensure no tearing happened. It was incredible. Really, truly, such an act of care + love.

The best part? I was at home! I was cleaned up + Thomas latched immediately, Aaron made tea for the midwives, and it all felt so very natural. All of it. After a few hours, I went to the washroom and came back into the room to a fresh bed made, laundry in already, and the room transformed into a place to rest! It was amazing—I felt so grateful + fortunate to be home.

Around 3:30am the big kids woke up and they were so surprised + excited that their little brother arrived! Needless to say, Aaron made me a big sandwich and the big kids stayed up! They watched more Trolls + were overtired and wild. But happy, so very happy.

I was living off pure JOY + adrenaline and Aaron was living off coffee + a prayer, ha. He had been awake for SO many hours and then trying to keep the big kids out of the room so I could rest. He was the real MVP—we made a really great team that day—more than usual.

Thomas’ arrival was quick and wild but easily the most healing birth. It was a redemption birth for me. It was an experience I didn’t know I needed + amidst the crazy uncertain time we’re living in—I am grateful for having been shoved out of my comfort zone because not only did my heart grow, but I discovered a strength in myself I didn’t know existed.

Thomas Beau, you are incredible. You are the absolute perfect addition to our family + I feel as though I’ve known and loved you my whole life. You were meant to be here and I thank my lucky stars that you chose me to be your mama. I am deeply grateful.

XO

PS if interested, you can read George’s birth story here + Eloise’s birth story here