Our Love Languages

I was perusing Pinterest the other day and stumbled across an article about the five love languages + I got totally sucked in! I had to know what this “secret” was all about, haha.  Have you heard of them before?!

Basically, the premise is that there are five love languages and we all have a different language in which we give and receive love. The five languages are Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Physical Touch, and Quality Time. I don’t know about you but I thoroughly enjoy all of the above ;)

And I am really not a believer in very evaluative “advice” as I believe we are all different + don’t fit into molds but I got totally sucked in…

ANYWAY.

I love quizzes. I have loved them since the good ol’ days of Tiger Beat (I always got paired with Andrew Keegan but I wanted JTT!!) and YM magazines. Gosh, I used to sit in my bedroom listening to Rick Dee’s Top 40 making mix tapes + doing quizzes…

ANYWAY.

I totally took the quiz to find out what my love language was (if you’re interested, you can find the quiz here).

It turns out my love language is Acts of Service (makes sense). I like this so I’ve decided it’s true for me, ha. Isn’t that the best part about quizzes (and horoscopes in my opinion!)? If you disagree with the answer, you’re all like, nahhh you’re just a silly quiz (horoscope!).

AND THEN I DID THE UNTHINKABLE.

I asked Hubs to take the quiz AND he did it!

His love language is a tie between Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. He was totally like, yeah, whatever. I, however, was intrigued.

Regardless if you think the Love Languages are 100% legit or not, it really made me start thinking about relationships and more importantly, relationships after baby. Because, that’s kinda my life now ;)

I’ve touched on how marriage changes after baby (you can read it here) but what I’ve been thinking about lately is how we manage to show our love to our partners when life is crazy busy and a toddler is throwing food all over the kitchen and the kitty is meowing to be fed/let outside/no apparent reason other than to be a jerk and all you wanna do is take a nap.

I’ve always appreciated (and admired!) my husband’s friendship + his ability to help.

We can go a full day without talking (work is busy or whatever) and have zero physical contact but when I come out from putting George down to bed and the dishes are done + the kitchen is clean?! Oh my word, the love I have for my hubs is strong.

I’m not even kidding.

This makes me instantly feel less stressed and 100 % more interested in curling up on the couch for a good ol’ cuddle session (and binge watching session of  “The Night Of” or “Stranger Things”–both so good, I highly recommend!).

Hubs and I talked about our top love language and yes, we joke about it. George has a dirty diaper and you better believe I’m yelling “ACTS OF SERVICE, BABE! ACTS OF SERVICE!”.

Best quiz ever, ha.

Although I am the biggest advocate of communication, I do think that actions speak louder than words sometimes + I wholeheartedly admit that when hubs helps out a little more than his usual, my heart beats a little faster for him and I am more apt to show him even more love back.

And now that I am armed with hubs’ love language, I am really trying to kick it up a notch and be extra serving (and not in a weird 50’s housewife kinda way…even though I sometimes like to play the part!) with helping him make his lunch or washing specific work clothes that I know he would want to wear but doesn’t have time to handle. Or ooooh fresh clean towels hanging up + ready for his after-work shower, there’s nothing better than that, amiright?!

I know for me, the little things can make a great impact + when hubs tackles the “honey do” list or helps me move around furniture (even though he doesn’t think it’s a good idea…I’m notorious for wanting to move furniture around all the time! It brings me immediate joy!), or even the simple act of making me a coffee before he brews his own cup, those efforts are noticed and so appreciated.

Recently I was discussing with one of my girls the wild notion that since I’ve become a mother, I’ve become a better wife (even though some days I feel like the complete opposite). I’ve noticed that before George, I didn’t think about hubs’ needs in the same way that I do now. I consider hubs’ feelings + considerations far more often (ha!) than I used to and it may have something to do with the fact that I spend 24/7 ensuring that my son is happy, healthy, comforted, and feels safe + secure that it has somehow bled into taking even better care of my husband, I dunno. Any other mamas feel the same way? Maybe my selfishness has subsided a teensy bit (although, it’s not entirely bad to be selfish sometimes, mama! More on this later, promise!).

It is just so dang easy to get caught up in the day-to-day and I don’t know about you, but at the end of the day, I’d much rather take a hot shower and curl up in bed. However, this does not a marriage make.

Putting in extra effort to help one another, give a sweet compliment, or give an unexpected smooch or butt pat (no? just us?) can make you feel instantly connected to your partner. I say, make your partner’s favourite dessert or bring them home a coffee, these little acts of kindness go a long way.

I think it is super important to not only be aware of where you’re at in your relationship (I will tell you, our marriage had some ups + downs this past year. Becoming first-time parents was hard/a whole new ballgame!), but also acknowledge where you’re at and what makes you feel loved/what makes your partner smile (hubs please read: louis vuitton handbag, ha!).

Aaaand what better way to open the communication about your relationship than the love languages quiz? Even if you disagree with the results (what’s true for you is true for you, always!!), having a discussion about what you love + what makes you feel loved with your partner is beneficial. More communication is always better than less. That’s my motto. My poor husband, ha. He always has to has the privilege to hear me blab on and on (but hey, his listening speaks to my heart!).

I’d love to hear what your love language is + if implementing a few small changes here and there in your relationship helps to enhance the looooove.

Thanks as always for reading!

XO