Ah yes. How this is very very true. I mean, you hear about it all the time especially when you’re expecting your first baby. “Goodbye marriage” and “so long love life”…
I especially love hearing this from those who are not married and have no kids, ha.
In all honesty though, marriage DOES change when babies come into the picture. But not how you may think.
It isn’t “goodbye marriage” or “so long love life”.
It is the moment you tell your hubs that your family is growing by two feet and a heart beat + his looks of shock and awe and happiness and fear flash before your eyes. And you get it, because you’re right there with him.
It is buying Popsicles on Popsicles on Popsicles and putting up with the chomping sounds in bed (ha, sorry babe!).
It is daddy putting together hours upon hours of IKEA furniture for the baby’s room. And then taking it apart. Aaaand then putting it back together again.
It is walking around the block when you start to experience labor pains and knowing that you’re both about to embark on the wildest adventure you’ve ever been on and you are scared. Terrified. And exhilarated.
It is holding hands in the hospital and deep breaths. And hospital gowns and frequent trips to get ice chips + apple juice.
It is the moment baby is born and you look at each other + realize life as you know it will never be the same again. And then your heart grows not only for your baby but for your husband as well.
It is daddy’s patience and care those first few days with baby when mommy thinks she is losing her mind because of the overwhelm and the hormones and the lack of sleep. It is the glass of water. It is the helping hands. It is the reassurance.
It is walking around like a mombie the first weeks postpartum and being told you look beautiful when you feel anything but.
It is the swaddling daddy special and the breastfeeding support. And the carrying of stuff, fluffing of pillows, and turning on Netflix to ensure mommy and baby are comfy.
It is daddy cuddling baby while mama scarfs down a meal (as quickly as she can) while it’s still hot before she has to feed the baby or put the baby to sleep. It’s daddy reminding mommy to relax and take her time with her food.
It is observing the way your son looks at his daddy with so much love and admiration.
It is turning grocery shopping into an exhausted circus act with the diaper bag and the blanket and the mum mums and the sunhat and the ball that your son is death griping. And dropping. And throwing. And death griping.
It is daddy driving the car for almost one year while mommy and baby sit in the backseat.
It is daddy supporting mommy by reminding her to trust her instincts.
It is mommy and baby waving goodbye to daddy’s truck every morning.
It is dinner time arguments about solid foods and baby giggles and sweet potato everywhere.
It is double duty diaper changes and squirmy bath times and a water soaked bathroom.
It is endless photo snapping and video taking and memory making.
It is early morning wake ups and family cuddles. And the pleading of “Can you change his diaper pleaseeee? I just wanna sleep five more minutes”.
It is high fives when baby sleeps, family hugs, and huge smiles when a milestone is reached. It is clapping and encouraging and crying tears of happiness.
It is staying up late and talking about how much you love your kid + laughing at the cute things he does. It is looking at photos and videos while he sleeps. It’s sharing hopes and dreams for your family and future family vacays (hello, ballpark roadtrip! we can’t wait to visit all of you!).
It is happy tears. Tired tears. Frustrated tears. All. The. Tears.
It is communication and daydreams and goals and purposes. As a unit. As a team. As a family.
It is hard work. It is deciding each day to love and accept and be gracious. It is challenging and sometimes it is lonely.
It is going days and days without sitting down and having a deep conversation. Some days it’s about just getting through without falling asleep at 8pm.
It is holding hands and long hugs and working together to get dinner made and enjoyed before baby bedtime meltdown.
It is disagreements and laughter and different parenting styles. It is compromise and dedication and sometimes hella-frustrating.
Marriage isn’t the same when babies come. It is greater. It is powerful. It is downright incredible. And it’s hard work.
Balancing baby’s needs, mama’s needs and daddy’s needs; heck, it’s a juggling act. Always one ball up in the air waiting to drop and sometimes, you guys, it does. And by sometimes, I fully mean A LOT OF THE TIME.
The ball drops and one of us is frustrated and tired and overwhelmed and upset and giggling with exhaustion/delirium. And then we pick it back up. Together. And we keep juggling.
I wouldn’t want to juggle this all encompassing, super emotional, bigger than big, larger than life, love adventure with anyone else–no matter how much we drive each other completely mental.
Aaand that’s the thing. Marriage IS different when baby arrives but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
XO
ALL THE TEARS. This is so, so true. Beautifully written!
Thanks girl XO